Drinkable Chicken

Richard Öberg on psychopaths:

When a psychopath feels that his manipulations are not working, he will always always always as a last resort use the pity play. He will be very sad, disappointed in you, and claim to be unfairly treated. It is very predictable and yet I still find myself amazed when I see it pretty much every single time. If you push a psychopath who has done something incredibly wrong, and try go get him to admit to what he's done, or just agree on what has happened at all, at some point the pity thing will come up. The psychopath uses his knowledge about what we have but he has not: a conscience. And this is used ruthlessly through the pity-play.

We probably all apply to someone's sympathy at times, but I know a few people who do this kind of stuff, like, *all the time*. The "pity play" is just one part of their arsenal. They will lie, make up stories, cry, throw fits, appeal to your sense of fairness ("but you did this for X, why not for me?"), pit people against each other, etc. It's not nice to be on the receiving end of it. It's also my experience that even if you recognize the ploy, it's still incredibly hard not to give in, because you don't want to feel like a heartless jerk. :-/

My eyes were opened when I accidentally stumbled upon this Wikipedia article on psychopathy, especially the checklist. Somebody I know matches most of the points on this list, which was a shocking revelation to say the least. (In fact, I know at least two people who it would apply to...) My "theory" about said person is not easily shared with others, as they tend to think of psychopaths as violent killers or something, which this person is not.

This also sounds very familiar:

Another general point is that to a psychopath there is no such thing as objective reality. Reality is what you manage to convince other people that it is. Therefore, to a psychopath there is no such thing as “facts”. “Facts” are to a psychopath only what he feels is convenient for his current purposes or desires. Since there are no facts every discussion becomes a manipulative struggle. For example, if you point out a fact such as “your code doesn't work” to a psychopath, this will be perceived as an “ad hominem” attack on the psychopath (because if there are no facts, EVERYTHING is an “ad hominem” attack!), and the psychopath will then accuse you for this and respond, using this twisted logic, with “Fuck you too!”. In a fact-less world that makes total sense.

("My" psychopaths are not involved in software development, by the way. :-)